User blog:Bern Unit/Bern Unit - Holding Sand Too Tight
“The nightmares don’t seem to stop. I continue to wake all ours of the night with visions of her, the things that happened and the things that didn't. There are many times I wish I could have her back in my arms and then I wonder if I would even be accepted by her now. If I could go back and do it all again, would I do things differently? Would I be earlier to the job that day? Would I change how I did things with her?” Bern closed his journal and put it away. He sat there for a moment and ponders his previously written thoughts. “Can I go back?” he wondered. Bern had come to understand that “multiple universes” was not a phrase that would earn someone a 3 day vacation in the local psychiatric ward or your area hospital anymore. After months of nightmares and restless nights Bern had come to a point of desperation, he needed to see if there was a way to undo all of this for himself. He found himself approaching The Flash. Bern had a look of sheer determination in his eyes, his mind was made up and he knew what to do. He looked at The Flash and said “I need you to open up the tunnel” The Flash looked at him with a look of confusion “and you are?” Bern felt himself exhale in frustration and he grabbed The Flash by his collars “Look, that isn't going to matter in about 5 minutes, so what I need you to do is to hop on your little treadmill here and move those skinny little legs as fast as you can”. The Flash looked into Bern’s eyes and saw that look of desperation, it wasn't unlike the one that he himself had not that long ago. “Look big guy, I think I know what you want to do but I don’t think that you really want to do that. Messing with this time and space doesn't usually end well for the meddler of it”. Bern looked at him, still holding onto his collars and what looked like a small tear welling up in his eyes “Please….just do it” as he let The Flash down. Flash looked at him and slowly walked to the treadmill and simply said “Good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for”. The orange, yellow and red lights swirled faster and faster in front of him and the doorway to the other side opened up. Bern stood there and gazed into the past thinking to himself “Here goes nothing” as he steps into the vortex. As the white light faded and things came into focus Bern found himself standing on the Municipal Bridge of Metropolis. The city looked as though it had not been touched by Brainiac yet. Things seemed quite and undisturbed. “I think I made it” Bern thought to himself as he made his way across the bridge and into Little Bohemia where he and Miranda used live. Bern stopped to look at a paper on the way to see how much time he had to try and undo many of the events that caused him to lose the woman he loved and possibly undo the events that caused him to become the person he is now. The paper on the stand showed January 15th, 2014 which by Bern’s memory gave him close to days to stop those events from taking place. As Bern flew over the city as he had come to do so regularly in the future, he couldn't help but think of how peaceful this Metropolis looked to him. As he approached the apartments where he and Miranda lived he felt his heart rate start to increase and many questions began to flood his mind, “Will she recognize me? Will she accept me? Will she be okay?” He continued on his way and eventually stopped a few streets over before he made his way to the door. “What do I do? What do I say?” Bern began rifling through questions like he was 15 year old on his first date. Bern remembered what the apartment looked like but wondered if it would look the same, if his state of mind at the time distorted how he perceived things and people around him. As he exhaled he made his way to the door of the apartment, arriving at the address he knew so well. Bern stood outside the building, staring for what seemed like forever at the door. The wind was blowing ever so slightly and the hustle and bustle of the city seemed to be at an even pace. Bern walked up to the door and slowly raised his hand to knock on the door. In that moment there was commotion from inside the building. It was Miranda’s voice “Leave me alone you piece of crap!” Bern was frozen and could only listen as the argument raged on “What the hell is the big deal, it’s just a little, I can handle this” the voice turned from female to male, it was himself “You stupid chick, you’re going to do it wrong and kill us both….damn why do I let you do this with me?” Bern continued to stand outside the door and listen. The conversation didn't get any better from there. Insults and slurs began to be thrown towards each other and there were sounds of broken glasses at times between the insults and raised voices. Bern lowered his hand and looked at the door and looked up to the window where the argument was taking place. As he listened to the two wage war on each other he found himself noticing a feeling throughout him….disgust. Bern was disgusted by what he heard, what he did, how he allowed himself to get to that point and be that person he heard coming from the window. He was disgusted by how he didn’t want better for himself or Miranda and allowed all of those things to happen. He thought to himself for a moment “I can’t undo this…., do I want to go back to this? Can I go back to this?” thoughts and feeling washed over Bern like a tidal wave. Bern knew in his heart that even if he did set certain events into or out of motion that Miranda would still be who she was, he didn't know if he would go back to being a drinker again. “I can’t” he thought to himself, he slowly turned away from the door and walked away. Bern made his way back to the entry point of the tunnel he used to come through and took one last look at Metropolis sans Brainiac. Stepping back through the tunnel and into his time line, the white lights faded and The Flash slowed as Bern exited the tunnel. Bern looked at the speedster and nodded to him. “Well it couldn't have gone the way you wanted it to” said Flash. Bern looked at him “How do you know?” to which Flash replied “You came back through”. Bern nodded and thanked the Flash for helping him despite his better judgments. “I need to go take care of something…..here” Bern said to the Flash and with that he was on his way to Gotham, to a place he also knew very well from Miranda. Bern entered into the cemetery where Miranda had been laid to rest. He approached her grave site and stood in front of it. The wind blew a little colder than he remembered it but this felt more real to him than where he just was. He knelt in front of the grave and looked at the carvings on the tomb as if he were looking for a spirit floating around that he could speak directly to; “Hey Miranda…..you are never going to guess where I just was. I know that this is probably going to be a one sided conversation, as most of our stuff was. I am doing really well and have been for a while now. There are some things I need to say so I just need you to listen a little……I’m sorry. I’m sorry for letting things get out of hand the way they did all those time. I am sorry for not getting myself right and being there for you. I know that a lot of what happened and what was said was because we were not right in the head. I am not blaming the booze or anything but just saying that I know if we didn't do that stuff things might have been a little better…..maybe, I don’t know but anyway…..something have happened to me and I am not the Berny that you remember. I got a bit of an upgrade if you want to call it that. I am sure that where you are, you are comfortable and happy. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, please know that. I know that we weren't always the best together but I think I understand now, that if I didn't go through what I went through with you I would have never made the choices I did and would have never ended up here. You will always be a huge piece of me and I will never forget you. Goodbye Miranda…I love you”. Bern stood up and walked out of the cemetery and flew into the Gotham night. ~To be continued~ Category:Blog posts